An exhausted Shiba Inu in a suit dozing at his office desk under dim purple light

Issue 0115:00A day in the life

Monday.
Again.

DOGWIFJOB

Someone’s gotta do the work. He clocked in so you could clock gains.

Buy $JOB Chart

CA CA dropping soon

Fig. 1 — The 3 p.m. slump. Photographed on the job.

The profile

The dog got a job.

He used to wear a hat. Now he wears a lanyard. Somewhere between the hat and the hustle, a Shiba Inu looked at the market, looked at his rent, and did the unthinkable: he applied.

Dogwifjob is the working-class sequel. No yacht, no lambo, no “passive income” course. Just a dog with a badge, a commute and an inbox that never hits zero. He scrubs the charts, flips the burgers, takes the 9 a.m. standup on mute and answers emails at midnight.

$JOB lives on Solana. It is a memecoin, nothing more, and that is the whole point: a little joke about the grind, for everyone still in it.

“Someone’s gotta clean the $hitcoins.”— Facilities dept., official team position

Chapter one

A day in the life.

Seven timestamps from one ordinary shift. Names have not been changed. He is a dog.

06:00

The alarm● You are here

The alarm goes off. So does he, eventually.

Coffee: black, like his candles used to be. He puts on the tie. He looks at the tie. He takes the tie off and puts it on again.

~~06:0006:0906:1806:27~~06:36 — up

09:00

Standup● You are here

Standup. Everyone is sitting.

A Shiba Inu janitor in a purple beanie and coveralls holding a toilet brush and giving a thumbs up — FacilitiesFloor 6

Yesterday: cleaned the $hitcoins. Today: cleaning the $hitcoins. Blockers: the $hitcoins. He gives the thumbs up anyway, because someone has to.

RE: Action items
– Scrub rug residue from Floor 6
– Unclog the liquidity pipe
– Smile for the all-hands photo

12:00

Lunch● You are here

Lunch at the grill. His, not yours.

A Shiba Inu fast-food cook in a uniform working the burger grill — Second shiftGrill 2

The lunch break is a myth. The side hustle is not. Flip the patty, flip the bag, wipe the counter, repeat.

Would you like gains with that? Not financial advice. Fries are also not financial advice.

15:00

The slump● You are here

The slump. Eyes open. Mostly.

An exhausted Shiba Inu in a suit dozing at a desk in a moody office — Cover storyDesk 14B

The meeting could have been an email. The email could have been a nap. He has chosen the nap, with great professionalism, sitting upright, still technically “in a call.”

17:00

The charts● You are here

Five o’clock. The charts wake up.

A Shiba Inu on a busy trading floor surrounded by screens of green charts — OvertimeTrading floor

Everyone else goes home. He opens six tabs and stares at candles like they owe him money. Green, for once. He does not tell his manager.

23:00

Still working● You are here

Eleven p.m. “Quick question.”

A Shiba Inu working from home on a couch with a laptop and headset late at night — WFHCouch, left side

Headset on. Laptop warm. A Slack message arrives with no context and three question marks. He answers it, because the grind does not have a bedtime.

Status: Away
Actual status: Very much here

Epilogue

One day, the corner office.

The way out is the way in. Clock in to $JOB.

Clock in · Buy $JOB How to buy

Now hiring

Career opportunities.

Several open positions. Compensation: vibes. PTO: unlimited, theoretically.

A Shiba Inu executive in sunglasses on the phone at his desk

Req. 001 · C-suite

Chief Vibes Officer

Takes calls. Wears sunglasses indoors. Says “circle back” with conviction.

A Shiba Inu janitor with a toilet brush giving a thumbs up

Req. 002 · Facilities

$hitcoin Sanitation Lead

Cleans up after rugs. Brush provided. Thumbs-up mandatory.

A Shiba Inu cook at a fast-food grill

Req. 003 · Food service

Grill Associate

The fallback plan. Every degen’s first and last employer.

A Shiba Inu trader in front of green chart screens

Req. 004 · Markets

Junior Candle Analyst

Must be able to stare at a screen for 14 hours and feel things.

A Shiba Inu working remotely on a couch with a laptop

Req. 005 · Remote

Remote Associate

Camera off. Mic muted. Fully committed in spirit.

A tired Shiba Inu in a suit asleep at his desk

Req. 006 · Middle mgmt.

Senior Meeting Attendee

Present at every sync. Conscious for some of them.

Chapter two

Payroll.

The numbers that matter, straight from HR. Anything not yet published reads TBA until launch. We don’t make up figures; we’re not that kind of company.

Dogwifjob Inc.Earnings statement · Not an employment offer

EmployeeShiba, D.

Ticker$JOB

NetworkSolana

Line item	Amount
PTO	Unlimited*
Dental	Bones

Net payVIBES, PAID IN FULL

*Theoretically.

Chapter three · Onboarding

How to clock in.

i.Orientation
Get a wallet
Download Phantom or another Solana wallet. Write down your seed phrase. Show it to no one, not even HR.
ii.Direct deposit
Get some SOL
Buy SOL on an exchange or in-wallet, then send it to your wallet. Keep a little extra for fees.
iii.First shift
Swap for $JOB
Open a Solana DEX or the launchpad, paste the official CA from this page, and swap SOL for $JOB. Check the address twice.
iv.Tenure
Hold
Clock in. Don’t clock out at the first dip. Long careers are built one shift at a time.

CA CA dropping soon

Directory

The break room.